My mind picks things to obsess about and generally forgets the rest. I'm a paranoid child so the bad things about me and the ways my best friend hurts me are one of the things I obsess about. I'm sure she's said somethings that at that moment I said I would never forget because they made me happy, but then something painful comes and consumes me. To tell the truth, if I could obsess about being happy I don't think I would be even then.
Since I obsess, I've been thinking about Julia throwing out that she doesn't believe in hexes. Personally, I do...because I believe in a God big enough to deal with it if I ask, so I don't have to be scared out of my mind by it. Though, each to his own, or whatever.
It's been... wow... I don't think I've been happy, really truly honestly purely happy, all year. Considering the year is only barely two days old, it doesn't really bother me, but I mean...wow. Julia and I have been arguing nearly everytime we talk and I don't know if it's her or me. Probably me. And I would try to justify that (oh, I've been hurt and I'm a troubled teen and blah blah blah blah we've heard the excuses over and over and over) but there really isn't a point in it. I've had burst of happy, but most of the time I've just been ticked off. Maybe it's because I'm not used to being treated like a child but like a person? I'm sooooo sick of how my dad friggin treats me. Yet I keep my mouth shut. Why break the already uneasy peace? Why bother? Besides, if I said anything, it'd get worse and I'm already the worse hazard to myself.
Okay, I'm saying that 3:39 AM is late enough to stay up when I'm trying to get ready for finals and just going back to that thing called school.
Night.
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