Chirstmas Break

It technically started yesterday.
Though I guess it's safe to say I'm spending the first night of it with three objects.
I'll let you spectulate on them.
I should be happy; we most of the plot for this story done (just need to brush up on some details) and I get, what, a week and a half without school? A week and a half where I'm not suffocating everyday because the people there are just...to much to bear.
Yet I seem to know every way to depress myself.
For some ungodly reason, I went back and tried to reread those messages, also the convo between Julia and myself merely days before they started dating.
Sure, I'm in a house full of people, but I feel so freakishly alone.
Mommy tried to turn Julia's and my story into a religious one when I asked for ideas from her.
Honestly, Mom, I'm Christian, you can quit shoving it down my throat.
I can just hear her saying, "Well, if you asked God, he would make you feel as though you aren't so alone."
Well, I'm not one to ask for things I don't deserve.
Maybe I'll hint that I'm fine enough to not see the counsilor anymore.
Then, they wouldn't have to pay for it anymore and I would go back to being the seemingly perfect child.
It isn't really cheap, seeing a counsilor, and they wanna put me on meds which would be even more.
The only real question is would I be able to continue laughing and pretending?
Spitting in the face of my own problems and emotions?
Sure, I had done it in the past, but that was before...
Well, before all of this.
Okay, I'm a big pansy, but this song made me not only tear up, but shed tears, so I'll share it with you.