Sometimes

You sink into your own mental hell.
Try as you might, you wont get out of here.
Dark rooms, light only by computer screensavers, loud music breaking through headphones...
nothing helps.
All because of one memory.
No, not even.
Because of the knowledge that memory held.
I thought you were making it up to ruin our relationship.
You know how you say you don't wanna hear about him?
I'm trying to fix myself, so fricking bear with me while I try putting together the debris you thought I was making up.
And now you say you feel horrible when you see my cuts because you could see the pain in them, why couldn't you see it then?!
You completely turned your back on me and then had the balls to vocalize what we both knew.
SCREW IT ALL!
I realize I should get over myself, let it go.
Grudges shouldn't last forever and I shouldn't try to guilt trip people, but screw you.
I feel like death would be the easiest way out, and I would beg for it, but I don't ask for things I don't deserve.